Piece by Piece: INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

By at October 9, 2008 | 5:46 pm | Print

OUR NEXT LIVE “PIECE BY PIECE”: The 1987 cult mini-classic, The Monster Squad! It’s the film that taught us “The End of the World Starts at Midnight,” co-written by Lethal Weapon scribe Shane Black. See you Thursday Oct. 30 at 6pm ET. Pop in the DVD and join Allison!

ORIGINAL POST:
Welcome to our first live-blogging “Piece by Piece” post. Every Thursday night through October, we’ll dissect a movie for your Halloween pleasure – starting with tonight’s rather long Interview with the Vampire. Luckily, I did some finger warm-ups ahead of time.

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History Lesson:
Interview with the Vampire came out in 1994, almost 20 years after the Anne Rice novel it’s based on.

Directed by Neil Jordan who also did The Brave One, Michael Collins, and The Crying Game but not much else.

Starring Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Christian Slater (can I just say some of the “hottest” men of that time), and a young Kirsten Dunst in her first big role. Take a moment to reflect on what these people have done since. Okay, moment of silence over.

The last time I saw this was almost 15 years ago, so I have no recollection as to how good or bad this film is…

0:00 Say what? This starts out in San Francisco? And apparently, it was the first film production to be given permission to close down two lanes of traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge.

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0:08 I’m just going to say it – this film starts really corny. 19th century Tom Cruise sucking on Brad Pitt’s neck. I see Tom Cruise in a blonde curly wig, fangs, and a ruffled shirt and I still picture him shouting “I want the truth!”

0:12 Okay this just got serious. Seeing Tom Cruise slit his wrist and Pitt transform into a vampire – whoa. Not to mention the moving statue. This is good stuff.

0:14 Pitt gets his first coffin, aw. I read that in the book, Lestat (Cruise) and Louis (Pitt) share a coffin. Double aw!

0:17 The rat is still moving! He is draining the blood and it’s moving! Now that’s an effect I can get behind.

0:19 Now we’re at a ball and I’ve fully suspended my disbelief. Except for the mole on that woman’s face.

0:22 Ah, there’s that creepy Cruise laugh we’ve come to love.

0:24 From the peanut gallery: “Oh, his [Pitt] nails!” They are long. I assume they are his? Or maybe press-ons?

cap004.jpg0:26 Turns out the maid was played by Thandie Newton of Crash and W.!

0:31 Dude just killed one girl during a threesome and the other didn’t even notice! What’s in those fangs?

0:34 The movie is creepy. There is a mess of blood everywhere. Freakin’ women are being mauled left and right. Pitt really plays it up.  I’m kind of bored.

0:36 Aw, Kirsten Dunst – what a plague-ridden cutie.

0:37 Cruise dances with dead plague woman! Hilarious! I can’t believe there are funny moments!

0:42 We have lost two viewers to the gore.

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0:45 Kirsten Dunst brings Cruise and Pitt together. They’re a happy family now. Like on “My Two Dads”.

0:47 Kirsten, stop eating your teachers! And, no corpses in the bed! It’s funny when she asks if she’ll ever grow to be a woman, and Pitt and Cruise look at each other like she just asked where do babies come from.

1:00 Okay, my timing may no longer be accurate since the projector turned off and told us to clean the filter.  Yeah, right. Time for some trivia. The reporter role played by Christian Slater was originally to be played by River Phoenix. Unfortunately, Phoenix died shortly before filming and Slater stepped in. This is why he needs to be hired more often – he donated his entire salary from this film to Phoenix’s favorite charities.

1:08 Dead Cruise = awesome. Zombie Cruise = awesome-er.

1:14 Simultaneous cape flipping. This is very important to know about when meeting another vampire for the first time.

cap002.jpg1:20 Introducing Antonio “Too Sexy” Banderas as vampire #4. And introducing the part I never liked about this movie – where they strip and kill the woman on stage.  That’s when I’ve had enough.

1:23 Don’t you hate it when you go to someone’s house and they peer pressure you to bite a boy?

1:46 Okay, to summarize: Cruise wanted Pitt. Pitt wasn’t interested. Banderas wanted Pitt. Pitt was considering but…nah. Dunst? Dead. And even still Pitt can’t quit her. Also? Those were totally press-ons.

Interesting philosophical questions about mortality as well as other existential goodness. But it’s easy to stop paying attention because the questions and action are just not interesting enough.

Tune in next Thursday for another edition of Piece by Piece. We’ll be watching Day Watch. See you then!

Horror

10 Comments


  1. nanio, 9 years ago Reply

    Re: handling the truth – that had to be Demi Moore’s homeliest roll ever. Highly unflattering upper-midwestern jeans.


  2. Allison, 9 years ago Reply

    Hotness.


  3. nanio, 9 years ago Reply

    Context from Youtube commenters on dead girl.

    aylinblack (5 months ago)
    It was all fine until the Claudia part. I don’t want to spoil the fun but your comment on Anne Rice’s daughter is no laughing matter and I believe it is simply cruel to express it.
    SlovenCathrin (4 months ago)
    yea i agree coz her daughter was sick and died. this story was actually about her grief.
    notonantidepressants (3 months ago)
    OMG i dident no that.makes sense tho.
    i wonder if her daughter is looking down on her now thinking ??is that supposed to be ME!??


  4. Allison, 9 years ago Reply

    The Claudia part comes 30 minutes into the film so they didn’t last long.


  5. nanio, 9 years ago Reply

    Is Rebecca De Mornay in this? Because she’s what it takes to justify having to watch Tom Cruise dance, tighty-whities or not.


  6. Allison, 9 years ago Reply

    Because I’m stuck on vampires I blanked on who Rebecca De Mornay was and pictured the vampire from Once Bitten:
    http://www.hotmoviesale.com/dvds/5811/1/Once-Bitten.jpg


  7. AY, 9 years ago Reply

    I didn’t appreciate the trite continental stereotypes. European vampires are decadent and morally bankrupt, while American vampires are wide-eyed, plucky and hopeful. If this were written a few years later, the only thing missing would be the Serbian thug vampire and/or the Arab terrorist vampire. Vampire, please.


  8. Norm Schrager, 9 years ago Reply

    - AY –

    Are you referring to the movie or Allison’s comments? I’m only half-kidding.

    Let’s call Anne Rice now and bitch at her, that Lousiana lunatic.

    All kidding aside, we dig the feedback!

    -Norm S. (Meet In the Lobby)


  9. Allison, 9 years ago Reply

    I agree that this movie definitely taught us that Europeans know no bounds and that they like to burn children. I appreciate these types of lessons in life.


  10. wendz, 7 years ago Reply

    it helps me in making my term paper.
    and the movie is awesome!!


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