Stop Wetting Your Pants. Please.

By at November 25, 2008 | 11:44 pm | Print

After writing about film for nearly ten years, I’m catching a disturbing trend: Bloggers and writers who express their excitement by saying they’ve wet their pants. Or they’re going to wet their pants. Or they wish they could wet their pants. What’s with all the incontinence? (Oh, that means inability to hold your waste …)

Hey, how about some examples?!

Dorky Indiana Jones Lego Piece:: Gizmodo, February 14, 2008
The headline: Indiana Jones IV Trailer Makes Us Wet Our Pants. Author Jesus Diaz calls the film “the most anticipated movie of all time.” Uh huh. Well I hope Jesus did get the satisfaction of wetting his pants, cause Kingdom of the Crystal Skull gave me gas.

:: Publishers Weekly’s The Beat, July 17, 2008
The headline: Prepare to wet your pants. The trailer: Watchmen. And it was written by a woman, Heidi McDonald. Eww. Word up to Ken Lowery’s insightful comment: “The thing I love about comic book fans is how measured and steady they are in their assessment of things.”

A Guy Dressed in a Tron Costume. Why Isn’t He Embarrassed?:: Gizmodo, July 26, 2008
The headline: Tron 2 Trailer Makes Pants Wet Worldwide. Uh oh, it’s our friend Jesus again and he mentions that he saw the original Tron about 200 times. (At least there’s good self-referential humor to the headline.)

::, November 18, 2008
The first paragraph reads “Are your geek pants ready? They better be because they’re going to get wet. The trailer for the new Star Trek movie is now online!” Really? Does that mean I should prepare to poop when the entire film is released?

Wait, here’s one from the videogame world!:
:: Destructoid, July 9, 2008
Headline: Tatsunoko vs. Capcom trailer gets anime fans wet in the pants. Oh, thank goodness. I wasn’t sure hardcore anime fans had the proper evacuatory parts.

Look, I certainly don’t possess the world’s most powerful vocabulary. But isn’t there another way to voice anticipation or passionate interest? If you’re all jumpy in your nether regions cause something’s got you stoked, tell us without soaking the trousers. Never mind that all the hyped-up energy supports a miserable habit, where decisions are being made about movies before they’re even released (The Dark Knight, anyone?)

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  1. Chris, 9 years ago Reply

    Yes. I agree that there is a problem. This is why I will attend “The Watchmen” pantsless. Problem solved.

  2. Norm Schrager, 9 years ago Reply


    It’s not so much the pants-wetting that’s the problem. It’s really all the TALK about said pants-wetting.

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