Transformers Movie Preview for Dummies: From Earth to Cybertron In One Quick Lesson

By at June 30, 2007 | 11:08 pm | Print

Michael Bay Directs Transformers

We know there are plenty of you out there.

You don’t know anything about those Transformer things, but you like a big silly Michael Bay (above) summer action movie — complete with doofy dialogue and mondo explosions. You think Bay isn’t all that bad, but no one should ever confuse The Beach with, say, Minority Report.

If that’s you, you need this post. How else will you gain full enjoyment from this week’s opening of Transformers without, well, knowing your Transformers? (Hyperfans and toy junkies: This ain’t for you.)First, there’s a ton of Transformers fictional history (you think the universe of Star Wars novels is big?!), so we’ll stick with the movie content.

BACKSTORY: In 1984, Transformers toys appeared on store shelves and in basements everywhere. They were robot-like creatures that could morph into a vehicle, aircraft or weapon of some kind. At around the same time, the first of many comic book series premiered, as well as a 98-episode animated TV series.

THE MOVIE STORY: Five-word pitch: Transformers factions battle on Earth. They’ve fought on their planet — Cybertron — for ages to control a powerful rune known as the Allspark (I keep wanting to type “Allspice”). The Allspark was zoomed off the planet and Transformers have been tracking it on Earth since about the mid-19th Century. (You’ll see.)

Transformers | AutobotTHE GOOD GUYS: Autobots. Their mission: PROTECT. Their leader: Optimus Prime. Traditionally, he’s about 24 feet tall, and has the ability to turn into an indestructible 18-wheel semi. His saying: Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. Whoa, heavy.

Transformers | DecepticonTHE BAD GUYS: Decepticons. Their mode: DESTROY. Their leader: Megatron. Also quite tall and menacing, he can transform into an enormous firearm. If that doesn’t have summer movie written all over it, nothing does.

THE REAL ACTORS: Fresh faces and impressive names. Shia LaBeouf (quickly becoming both a fresh face and an impressive name), Megan Fox and Josh Duhamel join the dependable Anthony Anderson as well as Jon Voight and John Turturro.

Did you get all that?

QUESTION: What do you think of Michael Bay’s movies (Bad Boys, Armageddon, The Beach)? TELL US

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  1. und3rdog, 10 years ago Reply

    “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.” -Optimus. Doesn’t that sound a heck of a lot like Live Free or Die Hard?

  2. NewsJobs, 10 years ago Reply

    Oy, John Turturro. You’ve been in such winners. What are you doing in this? Will you also star in The Cabbage Patch Movie?

  3. mikhail, 10 years ago Reply

    that was great— clarified a few things for me.. i figure i can call people …”freaking megatron” instead of bad idiot or something.. its a start. i know


  4. Verndale1, 10 years ago Reply

    More than meets the eye!

    Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons.

    Robots in diguise.
    More than meets the eye.


  5. Scott, 10 years ago Reply

    Michael Bay has lost almost $1 Billion for Dreamworks. He is probably the single biggest reason for their financial difficulties. I hope this movie makes no money so Bay’s career will finally end.

  6. Norm S., 10 years ago Reply

    – und3rdog — If Optimus Prime does sound like he’s promoting Live Free or Die Hard, maybe the timing is right on for both movies…

    — NewsJobs — Glad to see you’re so protective of John Turturro. Between this and his role in The Good Shepherd, he’s becoming a real military man stereotype. And by the way:

    — Megatron — Thanks for the quote.

    — Mikhail — “Freakin Megatron” sounds evil. Glad we could help.

    — Verndale — Nice lyrics!

    — Scott — With what movies did Bay lose so much money for DreamWorks? The Beach?

    Thanks to all for joining us.

    -Norm S.

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